One Year Later….

My last post, back in June, was the start of my final chemo treatment.  And I promised I would write more about my progress, but for the same reasons I noted in that post, I really hadn’t been able to write more.  But in case you didn’t know or see it on Twitter…. I am now (and have been since August 2015), CANCER FREE.  And I know I said I would write about it, but I just never got around to it.  The month of August was really busy.  My wife was returning to work after a two year maternity leave, so at that point, I pretty much became a stay at home dad (with a lot of help from my in-laws, mind you).  But I took my son to school every morning, picked him up after school, and played with my daughter during the day. It was fun.  And hard. Being a stay at home parent is tough, and I wasn’t even doing all of the work.  But I was grateful for the time that I was able to spend at home with my kids. And I started back at work in mid-October, and now that I’m back in the swing of things, I’m glad to be back!!

So here we are, now in 2016, and I realize that it is exactly one year ago that I started my treatments.  I went through my diagnosis in December 2014, all my testing and prep in January 2015, and the first week of February, I started my first radiation and chemotherapy treatments.

I remember thinking when I started that it was never going to end.  And now, I can’t believe that a year has passed since it started.  It was a time of my life that I will never forget, but wish I never had to go through.  But I also think how fortunate I am to still be here to talk about it.  To know that I will see my kids grow up.  To get back to a pretty much my normal life.

Sure, I still have side effects; I haven’t had a drink in a year (having wine stings like I’m drinking mouthwash); anything remotely spicy and my mouth feels like it’s on fire;  and my mouth is constantly dry…. just to name a few.  Small, daily reminders of what I went through.

But so what.  I’ll deal with it.

As I reflect on the last 12 months or so, I’m so very thankful for the great care I received from the doctors, nurses and staff at Princess Margaret.  I don’t even want to think about where I would be without them.  And so thankful for the help and kind words I received from family and friends.

I remember the sleepless nights, where I would wonder if the treatments would ever end and if I would ever feel better. And how much I missed playing my kids. How tired I was, and how little I could eat (and I was literally eating nothing for a few weeks).

And now it’s in the past.

Life goes on.

But you realize how precious life is. How you really need to embrace every day. I know it’s easy to say. I find it hard, even having gone through what I did.  I still get lost in the day-to-day activities of life and work, just like everyone else.  I’m not sure there’s a cure for that.

You just need to take a moment here and there to remind yourself that you’re alive and what you’re living for.

Cliche’s, right? But sometimes you just have to “go with it”.